Chapter 99: Night time thoughts

It was after midnight and Blizzard tossed in bed, moaning in pain. He dreamt fire everywhere. In the center was him as a baby pony wearing his golden necklace and sitting in the snow crying. Fire waved wildly all around him, sparks flew and crackled. The sound roared loudly in his ear. He could do nothing but cry. The heat of the fire didn't touch him, the ground was burnt except for the ground he sat on. he continued to cry, tears poured from his eyes and dripping like a waterfall to the ground. He looked around but only saw fire.

Blizzard suddenly jumped awake, he felt his head and realized he was sweating which never happened in his sleep. He stood up and looked at his bed.
"Again?" Blizzard thought looking at his frozen bed.
He left the shack not even bothering to put on his cloak. He stood tall feeling the cool breeze blowing through his ice blue coat and cooling him off.
He closed his eyes but all he thought about was his dream. He didn't feel like sleeping so he decided to go for a walk.

He walked through the dark forest, bumping into rocks and trees at times. When he left the forest he was relieved that the moon was out giving light and the street lights were on. Ever house had their lights off. The street were quiet, no one was outside or away. He roamed around the streets with his head lowered and thinking about Lunarstar.
"I really do lover her," He continued to say, "so that's what love is. It all makes sense."
He thought about the dance party when he had spent time with her. He thought about when she show him her favorite spot, then he show her his spot. He remembered her smile, laugh and was there to help with the flowers. He remembered everything he did to Blueberry and how mad he was at Blueberry. He could tell that Blueberry loved her but Blizzard also loved her. Yet one thing puzzled him, who did Lunarstar love?
He thought about seeing other ponies and their families, they too showed love. He remembered seeing Blueberry's family pictures, love was there with them. As he thought of many things he found himself walking up Lunarstar's street. He thought back when he was in the ice cream shop and a family walked in. The son wanted something the the parents said yes, he didn't know what it was then that was he was missing but he does now. The family loved each other, it was something he never experienced. He walked to Lunarstar's house and stared up at the windows, knowing she was in one of them. He thought of his father and all the times he had yelled at him, burned him untold number of times and imprisoning him in the house. Giving him orders never to mingle with other ponies, never to talk to them or play with them or be curious.
Blizzard looked at his feet and rubbed his hairy feet with one hoof, he remembered the burns his father gave him as a warning but Blizzard knew that it was far to late. He had mingled with other ponies, he had talked with them and his curiosity got the best of him. He even found love, something he was sure his father would be furious with him for.
Blizzard closed his eyes for a minute then he looked up at the house, "He has never shown any love for me." Blizzard turned and began walking back to the shack, "I don't think he loves me nor does he want me to feel love." He suddenly felt as if his eyes were opened, he knew something about his father was dangerously wrong, something he was afraid to find out.

He walked through the forest to his shack. Once he arrived he walked inside and remember that his bed was all ice. He grabbed his cloak and left the shack. Then he laid on the ground with his cloak covering him.
He looked up at the stars twinkling brightly through the openings in the trees.
"What am I going to do?" Blizzard thought.
He soon found himself drifting off to a deep sleep.